All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
