i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
