She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
