didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
