I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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