is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just had sex on a roof
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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