We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
