Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
