Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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