so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
