found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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