Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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