Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Acid is not a monday night drug
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
