Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
