i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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