Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
