in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
