Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
