This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's blow job season.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
