I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
