hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
