I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
