So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
