its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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