When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
