yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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