I want to walk on stilts...naked
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
