the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
