quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
