Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
