Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
