She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
