Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
this just has baby written all over it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
tequila makes me forget i have legs
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
