Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
