I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
A+ Viking dick
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
