No, you can still breathe under the balls.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
