i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
