Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
