Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
