I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
All I want is dick and wine.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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