Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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