he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
