dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
