their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
