She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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