i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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