There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
