so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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