How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
