There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
