youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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