he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
