I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
