i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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