Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
