Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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